how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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