Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
only if we run a train.
done.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
