I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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