My nipple is on Facebook.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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