return my video game
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
