come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
