His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
