thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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