dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
