I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize