a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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