His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
