I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
