She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize