Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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