I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
