i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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