im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize