I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
