Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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