remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm both gender and math confused
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
