Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
