You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
