just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
