some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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