Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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