I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
whose ass print is on the piano?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
