i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
my liver is dry heaving
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
