This girl is more easily done than said...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
