I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
