Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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