But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
