Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I wear drunk well.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
