Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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