While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
