I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
