yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
