So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
