She's JV to your varsity
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
