3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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