walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize