people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
