i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
