don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
