That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
