She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
