I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
