some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
