so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize