Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
