i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
