normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
