I got her a Nickelback box set.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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