Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
