how can u be prego again
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
