Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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