I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
