So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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