so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
