It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We had sex on a dog bed..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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