i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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