Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
