A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i've created a new STD.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
