So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
