I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
