They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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