i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
