She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
