On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize